If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.

"I fear too early, for my mind misgives some consequence yet hanging in the stars..But he that hath the steerage of my course direct my sail."
- Romeo, Romeo and Juliet Act 1 Scene 4


I have a fairly strict daily routine, and I'm pretty sure you used to not be a part of it..WAY WAY WAY back when it was the first few months of my college life..my day ordinarily consists of waking up, school, lunch and sleep.. and then you exploded into the picture and my whole routine just decided to fly out the window.

I love getting new friends..new faces to hang out with..it's always fun..so, I welcomed meeting you..like the jackass I can be..I wasn't able to anticipate the events that would follow..

I spent more and more time basking in your company..probably because you just humor me and I learn stuff from you..and then the shit hit the fan..

I fell in love(I hope to GOD that's not what this is)..don't ask me how..I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even be able to explain it..I just went to bed one night, thought about the day's events as usual and whispered "Holy fuck" to myself..

I swear, the second I realized that I was feeling something beyond friendship, I wanted to bash my head against the wall for being so stupid..again..

As per custom, I kept those thoughts and feelings to myself..and decided to move on with my life..

I had a plan: to limit my time with you so this problem wont have any reasons to develop..it made perfect sense while I was formulating it, but then I saw you smile and everything pretty much imploded..which sucks because I totally sound like a cheesy romantic comedy..


"Wish enough, wise man will tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene"
- Blue Eyes, Cary Brothers


You hug me before you get a ride home..and I find myself thinking of those moments, whenever I catch myself off guard..and it's like I can't even function properly if I don't get to feel your hugs..

I can't sleep soundly anymore, I end up rolling around in my bed replaying memories and it's like the only thing that makes me get up and go to school was the hope that I would get to see you again.

I want to make myself stop wanting you..because it's stupid and retarded and IT'S NOT RIGHT(you said it yourself)..and I'm not supposed to feel this way just because of a few hugs..I'm not supposed to smile like a giddy idiot the second you turn around and walk off..why? because it just wouldn't be right..no matter how much I want it to be.


"I can't do the talk, like they talk on TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be.
I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you.
I can't do anything, except be in love with you"
- Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits


I wish i could just tell you what I feel and that nothing would change..but that won't happen..I just know it won't..and I'd rather not risk what i have..it's not what I need it to be..but it's the closest I can get..