The Power of 5..

There was a significant event yesterday, it's not really that big but I had a reason to be happy yesterday..

Yesterday marked fourteen years since the release of Wannabe, The Spice Girls' debut single which technically marks the day when the world was introduced to Girl Power

I consider July 08 as the anniversary, because it was on that day, fourteen years ago, that my all time favorite song was released. The song that opened me to music itself.

Yeah, sure..it was Pop..and when you listen to it now, you'll find that there's really nothing quite special about it, it's just five girls singing.

I remember being three years old, not being able to understand anything they were singing about, it was all just plain gibberish to me. But I caught on the beat, started dancing along..and the rest was history.

There was something about them that just got me hooked..like some weird force, perhaps it was fate?..I don't really question it anymore, I'm just glad that my three year old self picked them over everyone else.

I LOVE THEM..I may not talk about them often, or listen to their songs every second of every day but I LOVE THEM..their music touched me in some way, they all speak to me, each one appropriate for at least one significant moment in my seventeen years of existence.

I admit that I have forgotten about them once. but, like I said..I LOVE THEM, and I like to believe that fate really wanted me to go running back into their music.

One year before they announced their reunion tour, there was a steady amount of 'signs' I saw that may look random to other people but meant something to me:

There was this regular commercial on TV at that time that used Wannabe as the background music.

I started hearing 2 Become 1 on radios wherever I go.

I was seeing the number 5 EVERYWHERE..like, seriously..everywhere.

There were dozens of those signs, everyday, wherever I go..I hear one song of theirs and I feel the tiniest pang of nostalgia, I wrack my brain for reasons but I seem to not be able to think of anything. The feelings of nostalgia grew stronger and stronger, until the day I saw their picture on the local broadsheet newspaper, read the news about their reunion and felt a HUGE AMOUNT OF JOY..because I finally realized what all those signs meant. It's like I had amnesia, all I needed was a picture to make me remember but the world kept giving me puzzle pieces so I could put it all together myself.




I never was able to go to any of their reunion shows. But I did what I can do, I started rekindling the fire.

It's been fourteen years since I first heard of them. And my eyes still tear up whenever I think of them too much..I only need to think of the pure unadulterated joy they gave me when I was young and I just feel like crying.

I never listen to their song Goodbye, besides the fact that there's only four of them in there..the title pretty much says it all for me..and I'm just not ready to say Goodbye to them just yet..

I'll always continue with being their fan..it's the least I can do..why?..because they sang Viva Forever and I take that song very very seriously..

If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.

"I fear too early, for my mind misgives some consequence yet hanging in the stars..But he that hath the steerage of my course direct my sail."
- Romeo, Romeo and Juliet Act 1 Scene 4


I have a fairly strict daily routine, and I'm pretty sure you used to not be a part of it..WAY WAY WAY back when it was the first few months of my college life..my day ordinarily consists of waking up, school, lunch and sleep.. and then you exploded into the picture and my whole routine just decided to fly out the window.

I love getting new friends..new faces to hang out with..it's always fun..so, I welcomed meeting you..like the jackass I can be..I wasn't able to anticipate the events that would follow..

I spent more and more time basking in your company..probably because you just humor me and I learn stuff from you..and then the shit hit the fan..

I fell in love(I hope to GOD that's not what this is)..don't ask me how..I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even be able to explain it..I just went to bed one night, thought about the day's events as usual and whispered "Holy fuck" to myself..

I swear, the second I realized that I was feeling something beyond friendship, I wanted to bash my head against the wall for being so stupid..again..

As per custom, I kept those thoughts and feelings to myself..and decided to move on with my life..

I had a plan: to limit my time with you so this problem wont have any reasons to develop..it made perfect sense while I was formulating it, but then I saw you smile and everything pretty much imploded..which sucks because I totally sound like a cheesy romantic comedy..


"Wish enough, wise man will tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene"
- Blue Eyes, Cary Brothers


You hug me before you get a ride home..and I find myself thinking of those moments, whenever I catch myself off guard..and it's like I can't even function properly if I don't get to feel your hugs..

I can't sleep soundly anymore, I end up rolling around in my bed replaying memories and it's like the only thing that makes me get up and go to school was the hope that I would get to see you again.

I want to make myself stop wanting you..because it's stupid and retarded and IT'S NOT RIGHT(you said it yourself)..and I'm not supposed to feel this way just because of a few hugs..I'm not supposed to smile like a giddy idiot the second you turn around and walk off..why? because it just wouldn't be right..no matter how much I want it to be.


"I can't do the talk, like they talk on TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be.
I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you.
I can't do anything, except be in love with you"
- Romeo and Juliet, Dire Straits


I wish i could just tell you what I feel and that nothing would change..but that won't happen..I just know it won't..and I'd rather not risk what i have..it's not what I need it to be..but it's the closest I can get..